My life in sex: the swinging unicorn

‘I love watching and being watched.’ Illustration: Lo Cole/The Guardian‘I love watching and being watched.’ Illustration: Lo Cole/The Guardian
My life in sexSex

I’m what couples are often looking for: a woman who is bisexual and enjoys the lifestyle

I’m in a rather unusual position in that there aren’t many single women in the swinging world. When a couple finds one they find attractive, and who is truly bisexual and enjoys the lifestyle, they are deemed to have found the illustrious unicorn.

Coming late to the lifestyle, I wandered on to a swinging website with a view to having my first threesome aged 33. Being a divorced single mother, I craved a release and what I saw as the perfect real-life porn. Luckily for me, my first meet was with a very sweet (and beautiful) younger couple. The seed was sown, and for the past two years I have been on and off the site, met some fascinating people and indulged in the hedonism that is so far removed from my life of respectability. I am not in a relationship, but I love sex, I love watching and being watched.

A few people know this. My sister disowned me initially, but came around. I like it being a secret; it adds to the allure. The fear I have is not being found out, but for my child to suffer any implications from my actions. My only bad experience came from a couple who turned out to be a pimp and a prostitute. They crashed their car and had to stay overnight in a local hotel (on meeting up, I made my excuses and left). Talk about drawing attention. “Who are your friends?” I was asked. “Friends of a friend,” I replied vaguely.

If I were to self-analyse, I would say this is my way of avoiding commitment after my adulterous husband. But it is incredibly fun. Life is short and these frivolous moments will become memories that will make an old lady smile.

  • Each week, a reader tells us about their sex life. Want to share yours? Email sex@theguardian.com

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